What a lovely day! I hope everyone had as nice a day as I have. Very uplifting energy and kindness all around me. I got to have my boys for a visit last night and today which was really enjoyable. We visited the park and played some games around the playground. We had a small fire this morning so the kids could have some smores.
Great day all around; I'm glad to be back at work tomorrow. Even with a little activity over the past few days, I am glad that I won't need to sit idle tomorrow. Being back on the job is a real blessing; Becoming complacent and hating work is a so easy, but it really does give a flow to a week that tends to be missing when all you have is time.
I had a great time with my sons this weekend. It was really awesome to have them out and enjoy their company. My ex-wife is slowly sending out my things, which, if I'm honest, hurts just a little. I'm less sad about loosing her than I am the house and everything I put effort into building and changing and paying for. It just is a little reminder each time that the space isn't mine anymore, and I mourn the loss of that more than her. I'm pretty sure I had clocked out of our marriage even before I was taken off work. The only reason I stuck around as long as I did was because we have kids together and I took vows. That might not mean much to some people but I took it seriously.
Still, everything is really pressing forward and I can feel nothing but satisfaction and relief each day. I know this is the right path for me and I'm doing everything I can to make it better.
I drew 'Temperance' in my Tarot earlier; my son was asking me questions and complaining a bit about his mother. I explained how he should listen his best and try to do what she asked him. Lots of cleaning, he claims. He does things which I used to do regularly like clearing his dishes and cleaning the floors and their bedrooms.
On a really bright note, I joined the online dating scene and have had some really good luck chatting with singles in my area. I began chatting with a really beautiful woman who's profile said she was 'looking for her penguin'. I thought that was really sweet and clever. She actually got back to me and I was so surprised; I honestly think she is out of my league, but I'm pulling out the stops!
Tomorrow I'll be back to work and I can't wait to get that place cleaned up properly. All the guys in the area, even after a single week, have been praising me and thanking me for the extra efforts I've been putting in compared to the other janitors they have had. It makes me feel glad to be recognized for a job well done. I'm only doing that work as a temporary thing, so it won't last forever, but I carry that pride with me longer than you might think.
You know, I am so glad that my wife antagonized me into that response I had. Getting me moved from the house has been the best thing to happen in my life in a long time. Breaking that bond we had was so healthy for me, and moving on feels so good. If you have fears about leaving something behind, don't. Just do it and cut those ties that no longer serve you. It will be hard at first, but you can make it through and become stronger and better because of it.
