I haven’t dressed yet; no reason to since I'm the only one here today. I've got my legs wrapped in a quilt sitting downstairs in my dad's home. It's one of those split level entrances and I have a lovely view of the morning here. Also, the dishes from last night are still next to my computer. I normally eat at the table with my mother, but with her being gone I am just 'Wild Wild West'n' it.
This is alright with me, I accept it. That is a super important bit of gaining momentum in your life also keeping equilibrium. A person cannot be balanced when they resist every circumstance in their lives. Especially people who are pursuing a particular outcome or endgame. People who are doing this have no chance because of a few reasons. First, they reduce the present moment into a means for an end, and two they become trapped in this expectant mode. God help whoever gets in their way or worse, in some unseen future leaves a dish on the counter.
You see how that might undo everything they did to get their result, right? All the time spent cleaning and organizing is compressed into one brief moment when it was done. As soon as it becomes undone, every bit of compressed time they spent to get the task done is rendered wasted. They are wasted, Such is the danger of expectation and living in the future.
What about all the present moments we spent lifting the dishes, walking them to the sink, running the water over our hands, wiping our nose when the chemicals of the soap hit the warm water. Getting a tissue, scrubbing a plate. It's all a process. So why is it reduced or done only half lidded (eyes half closed)? What makes a present moment less that the previous or next one? It is this ever present moment that allows us the power. Power doesn't exist in some illusionary time. It always exists now.
Eckhart Tolle talks about this in his book "The power of now" worth a read.
I digress, He talks less about but strikes upon acceptance. I think that is super important. Being accepting of your life situation and whatever it may be, simply embracing it and working with it. Make it your friend and push onwards. If you resent the present moment of your life circumstances then you will be putting mental energy into the resentment. I'm certain you can follow where this leads you. That's right: More resentment. Gosh, the clever things you will come us to justify why you are the way you are, how important you are and how clumsy and whistle whipped everyone else is. (blow a whistle a dog comes)
The reality is that we've become so personally attached to feeling our resentment that we become that resentment. We feed it our thoughts and it becomes us. We cannot release it because if we do then it will no longer exist. Don't you see? By accepting the circumstance and surrendering to it, we take responsibility for where we are unconditionally. With no purchase and no new energy, that resentment of others slips away. Albeit very loudly and grasping and even hatefully, pulling at every root it has every planted in you and in every uncomfortable situation possible. It lingers and shouts and bothers you constantly when you don't react to it and it takes time for it to bleed off the momentum which it had been accustomed to receiving. These thoughts are truly beastly. They were yours in time, without being present. However justified they might have been at the time, letting them go is the only step that needs to be made.
Let the rest get sorted out in the dumps. You don't need any of that deeply resentful, scared, hurt, or otherwise, crap. Leave the fear behind and take a step into the present moment. Breathe, touch your hands; Use discernment to look around your space and see what is there. Be at rest and be comfortable in a messed up space. Take the time to clean it mindfully. Each step important.
I'm building a trail in the woods at my parents place. I need to cut is through a ridge with uneven stones and I am digging into the stones to flatten the path out. It's the Canadian shield so you can imagine the difficulty. Each day I haul pails of wood chips up the entire length of the path and fill holes to softer the path and even it out. Each pail is important and every rock I work on is forever bound by the contract we had in that moment that I would move them into their new space.
Think of your life as a contract which you have responsibilities and you can only fill them right now. This ephemeral sliver of time; This is your chance to accept and move forward into your power. Even if that means using the toilet or cleaning up dishes.
It is all important, but most important of all, is your inner space. Keep your inner space as much in your awareness as possible. I've found martial arts to be an excellent way to do this. As you push closer to physical exhaustion you mind begins to recoil from the madness of what you are doing. It doesn't believe in you, but you push past these limits and it has no choice but to quiet down because you are so present focused in doing a movement or form or lifting a weight. The incessant stream of thoughts and ideas can't remain there when the power of your presence fills the gap. Being.
I like to think that everything has a bit of a soul. It managed to manifest in this physical world, so it all means something. If a rock and a tree can be aware then certainly we can do the same. Our minds just get in the way and resist everything which could give us real power because the mind wants to be in the top spot, always. We must subordinate the mind to the spirit. Acceptance is an excellent way to come to the point.
Take it all in stride and accept your life situation with no reservations. Anything that comes up accept. Dropped the ball? Accept. Kicked out of your house? Accept. Dad might die? Accept. Made a mess of the dishes, Accept. Now. Pick it up, find a new place, say 'I love you', clean it up.
Accepting doesn't mean sitting flaccid and sad. It means get hard and navigate the storm with awareness and resilience. It means flexing those internals and pushing through into something greater than your expectations. Just blow your ego away with right action and effort. Watch then as it tries to take the credit on you too, be discerning.
Life today slowly and monitor your present moment for interruptions or reveries of the past. Don't get caught up thinking about problems you're going to have, you'll just pull them closer. Instead release all that, have a tea; Sit in the sun if you can. Enjoy that tea. Have a cookie. Treat yourself. Tell your dad you love him. It doesn't matter he beat your ass as a kid. Just be you. The real you, the person who takes responsibility and spontaneously does the right thing.
Be generous and surround yourself with like thinkers, or nature. Just be free, go do it.
