Well and truly into second winter now; We received a lot of snow yesterday which has buried us. It is a good thing I am feeling a bit better, however that means I should probably clear out the driveway at some point.
I got upset at my one son this morning. He was hands on with his brother and when he was told to stop he said that his brother deserved it. After which my other son replied that he didn't deserve it, to which my first son said in fact, he did.
Now I suffer from terrible self talk which involves these very words; I laid him out verbally from the basement, since I am still isolating. It just resonated so hard at me.
Anyhow, got them on the bus and came home. Pretty sad and not feeling well. I really am hoping to pick up things today, somehow.
It's tough being off work. Especially with my avoidant behaviour and isolative tendencies to begin with. Now I don't even have a work social circle and I need to hide in the basement to boot.
It really has increased my stress by orders of magnitude. I can only assume this isolation and separation from everyone is for a reason. I'm just not certain what it is yet.
