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Beginnings

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I spent the evening with a few friends yesterday. I hadn't seen a few of them in several years, so it was nice to catch up. I used to work with one of their fathers maybe a decade ago, so I asked after him. He's doing well and still working, which surprised me because he's relatively old now. He did have a good job though, so I don't blame him, and the cost of everything, if his wife wants to be retired then he needs to keep working.

 

During the evening she mentioned feeling a little sore and I found out she had major surgery because the handle on a huge pot of boiling water she was moving broke and the water spilled down her chest stomach and thighs; This is a few months past, so she's doing much better now, but still tender. She had 3rd degree burns over 30%; brutal.

 

Another fellow who happened by with an old friend's sister works in the same area, and I talked shop with him. Later in the evening he brought up trading penny stocks and doing crypto currency. In the past I had considered it and perhaps it might be the time to start… I'm considering it.

 

I got to bed a little late, but did manage to get myself the bed upstairs and I slept well enough. I put on my headset and listened to white noise as I passed the night. At one point I remember a dog coming and snuggling her my head, then cuddling in my arm. I thought for sure I was awake at the time and simply kept my eyes closed and accepted it. The odd thing is that there was no dog.

 

I asked his mom in the morning if his sister's dog was visiting, she has a little dog you see, but no was her response. It occurs to me that I was dreaming the encounter. It felt very real and I was awake, yet the question remained for me; Could I have opened my eyes and been elsewhere?

 

I had a similar type of dream in the past, where I felt grass in my hand as I lay in my bed. I was sleeping and the sensation of grass struck me as very odd. I opened my eyes and to my amazement, I was sleeping in a field of wheat! I didn't have long to absorb the scene before I woke up for real, but during those moments it was very clear.

 

I'm going to practice opening my eyes when I roll over at night. I get the notion that I might be this one simple step away from recognizing my circumstance or perceiving things visually.

 

When I woke up in the morning I helped move my club into the YMCA, which is not closing now. Thankfully. It is a really cool spot. Lots of space with high ceilings. Tomorrow we're doing the last of the mats and that should cover things for class on Tuesday.

 

I had my friend take my wife over some flowers, from my children. Just because we are having hard times doesn't mean they shouldn't have a good example. Can you believe that he forgot it was mother's day? I told him to get his mom some flowers too!

 

Lots of action yesterday. I ate far too many chips and drank a few too many beers, but I still managed to get my tasks finished. It was nice to have that bit of irregularity, it makes coming back home to the normal stuff somewhat refreshing. We can't let ourselves fall into a rut and normal routine too deeply; doing extra and mixing it up are hallmarks of having a good day. We can't expect to feel better if we always do the same thing each day.

 

Even a perfect routine is still a system of control we exert on ourselves. Trying to live up to a personal standard which is too high is a road to ruin. Let yourself have a break; You deserve it. 

IA56

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We all need to begin somewhere. I like to think that since w...

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