It has been a good morning; I expected there to be more carry over from yesterday, but I've really felt quite good. With the vitamins and the rest, my crystals; It has all been just fantastic. I feel very confident right now.
It is in my interest to feel better about things. Maintaining a negative outlook is not going to assist. A negative outlook is an expectation, which will cause suffering even when you get what you want! It is hilarious to me that so often we can get just what were we're hoping for, and yet still feel bad about it. In a nutshell, this is the reason. We are so pessimistic and cynical that while getting a good result, our ego becomes 'wrong' which in turn makes us feel bad for not living up to our expectations of failure.
Should we fail we reaffirm our own victimhood which brings more negative thinking to the front of the line. Quite a cruel mistress. It seems like it is a defense mechanism gone wild. Imagine putting your efforts into something but not quite believing it to be possible. When you achieve that result you didn't imagine you could, your mind will attempt to break you down because it was wrong. Don't allow it to sneak in the back door on you like this. You did accomplish those things. Doubt is a normal part of life, just let it go and keep doing what you can.
If we allow setbacks and failures to define the way we act, does it really serve us? What will we be thinking about in our days? Certainly not how things went well and how we managed to overcome challenges; instead we will be forced to relive a plethora of hurtful memories, failures and regrets. Why? Because that is what you've used to define your identity for your whole life.
Set aside these trappings. Everyone has humiliating and shaming memories. We all have mountains of failures and grievances which have gone unresolved. Digging at these old wounds might release a some temporary feeling of control, but it just adds to the measure of suffering it causes next time. None of it is real, only built up in our minds; We consider ourselves to be these constructs all the while missing the real individuation laying just beneath the surface.
We wear our troubles and hurts like badges, we press ourselves to be stressed and even in victory, we can find a reason to point and say 'aha! See? It was not so good after all!'
Reorient those negative feelings when you catch them. Be prepared for resistance and be gentle with yourself. It has always been like this for everyone. Getting to a place of peace within yourself isn't something that happens overnight. It has taken you an entire life to get where you are now. unravelling a lifetime of habits, routines and mental conditioning isn't going to happen instantly. It might seem that it does, but the reality is revealed though knowledge that without the life you've led, there would be no problems to solve!
The experience of overcoming these mental patterns, these separating behaviours, the volume of habits and proclivities is our personal life's mission. We need to climb ourself out of whatever place we wallow mentally and rise up to the challenge of living. Choosing how to live, what legacy to leave behind. How is it going to feel when you create and manage what parts of your life you feel need improvement? It is going to feel great!
You're great. The work you've done and the people you surround yourself with are fantastic. Keep at it and do the best you're able each day. By making small positive choices, and celebrating them, you'll come to a point of revelation which is what we all seek. Keep the pressure on and you'll make it. Make no mistake, this life is very important. What you do has meaning and is worthwhile.
