A few interesting activities in my morning. I have a few appointments so I took a shower not long after waking up. It was unremarkable by most accounts, the pressure at my mom's place is glorious, but I digress. What caught my notice and what brings me now to communicate with you is this revolting bit of mucus that I blew from my nose. I was like a cast of my upper sinus. Hard and squishy and bright with a bead of coagulated blood. I was truly revolted. The breath I took after that was just perfect. Such a perfect crashing of waves, complete with that special cool feeling you only get after such a lovely cleaning.
I spent some time this morning in meditations and considerations. I did keep myself from ruminations, which is difficult for me. I know a great many people struggle with negative thoughts and I am no exception. I do try to let myself complete a negative thought if they do come up, but no follow up ideas. It is important to see things through to completion and not stunt these persistent notions. I tend to let them happen and put them aside since denying them only appears to make them stickier and come up more often.
I drove myself to town this morning out of an abundance of caution because of my recent marital collapse. I had it in my head that my wife was going to liquidate the accounts and I needed to prevent that. It was silly, but it did allow me a chance to talk about the options with someone who knows these things, and it felt good to see things from a different perspective. Beyond that, I was able to go to the gym and reconnect with a few friends there and update them on my circumstance.
It is good to have people in your corner and extend yourself a little, even when faced with adversity. It reminds us that each day is important. Although I would never blame her for it, I do find it funny that my old friends are coming out of the woodwork now that I've separated from the wife. Life has a way of steering us where we need to be if we are open to it.
I made a few important appointments and my plan to return to work is back on the rails. Hopefully by tomorrow evening I'll have a better idea about how that will look into the next few weeks.
So, onward to bigger news than my mental health and what I'm sneezing up in the shower; My dad is going in for open heart surgery in 5 days. So all things being equal, whatever brought me to be living with my mom has all happened for a very specific reason and that is to support my parents in this time of tensions. Let it never be said that we know best, because if we need to be somewhere it is going to happen for us in the exact way which is needed.
Take a breath for yourself today. I hope it’s a good one.
