Tired this morning, My sleep was a little cut up; I'm not used to being back on nights and I slept through my hair appointment. Ah well, next week I can look manicured again.
I'm trying to make room today for the people that matter, who I want to include today. That includes one friend for likely a dinner and another for a walk. I hope I can fit them both in, but I may need to choose…
Making choices like this can be hard, on both sides you risk hurting the other person and maybe more than that, causing yourself the worry or anxiety associated with that. We've all got a life to live and press onwards through.
Being back at work has certainly tapped my energy, and more, being on these recent night shifts has downright blasted my positivity. I had to use so much mindfulness today to drag myself back from anger. It is very easy to get upset when you are not well rested. So easy to loose sight of what is okay and allowable.
I'm pressing onwards however. I actively try to avoid bad situations and anxiety inducing circumstances, which is apparently the opposite of what you should do to deal with anxiety and turbulent emotions. Lots of therapies suggest you face them head on, but wallowing in the bad thoughts never feels good at the time you do it.
Tonight I'm going on a date with a new special someone. The search continues. I remember this pattern from my youth where I would get dumped and push on the next date without really processing things. I'll put aside time to think more closely about why I tend to do that. It can't be healthy, right?
Regardless, I really like this lady. She's my age but super handy and industrious. Like way more active and progressive in her solo life that I am. All I do is read and write, but she gets things done! Total Tomboy to her bones I think, but she tickles my fancy. We were going to head for a nice walk with her dogs, but the day got away from her while she was LUMBERJACKING; so I'm sort of afraid she going to be taking me on a date here, but I'll be a princess if that's the case. She does seem pretty hip.
Tomorrow I'm getting my children again! The weather is supposed to rainy, but the pool is heated and they might actually enjoy being in the warm rain for the first time. Kids love that sort of thing.
I'll take the evening to unwind a little and meet a new friend, and tomorrow, I'll love the hell out of my children so they can be happy all week without me.
