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It's my dad's birthday today; he's going to be 75 I think. Hard man; He was always pretty critical of me wen I was younger. I'll give him a call later in the day, or maybe drive out for a visit. He's about 40 minutes away, so I'll need to carve out that time in the afternoon.

The past two days have been really good for me. I don't know why exactly. I think doing things outside the house made a big difference. I got a gym membership for example.

With work side-lining me for so long and with no real end in sight, I decided it was the best option for me. Of course, being the 'try-hard' that I am I overdid it and passed out after some really minimal working out.

Okay, so I did do some high powered cardio, but I really did take it easy on the weights. I couldn't squat the bar more than 3 times. The bar; just the bar.

I transitioned to some weights, and decided to start with a drop set from 40. I managed 3 drop sets, down to 25. Only 3 reps each to failure. Bicep curls.

I finished with that and was woozy. In hindsight, had I been at home I'd have just lay down for a second, but at the gym, it's sort of you know; embarrassing? I don't know. Anyhow, I reach out to the fellas who's not far from me. "Excuse me my man, can I bother you for a second, please?"

He took off his headset and asks what's up and I tell him, "I'm going to pass out, I'm not feeling well"

Lucky he had me because those baby blue's of his were worth it. "Hey we were just talking!"

Totally passed out, but it was great. Not passing out, that was terribly poor form, but it did get me introduced to the most helpful, kind people at the gym on my first day. I don't think a price can be put on that.

The manager of the place, lovely matronly lady, brought me over a water and chatted for a bit. We had talked a day earlier when she liked me enough to let me try out the water massage bed. (Just saying, better than masturbation) Another fellow got me a vitamin water and made a point of chatting some more too a little later on. Nice man, he volunteers at the gym and soup kitchen, must have been late sixties, total bull chest and bright eyes, tough looking.

Even as I released the tension and became comfortable more and more individuals from the area came over and offered reassurance and understanding. One really fit lady with her mother told me how she passed out once too; She told me she always keeps a banana in her pack now if she's getting low and needs a boost.

All in all great experience. 10/10 would do again.

After the gym I stopped by the humane society to check out a cat which had been left there and needed adoption. A Bengal. A purebred Bengal. The place opens at noon, right? I got there at 12:12 and there was already 50 applications in for this cat. Anyhow, I am sure this cat is going to end up in its best home so it's all good. I know my wife would love it though. We are engaged with a breeder right now for a kitten, which I didn't really want because.... Kitten. So I was really hoping for this 1.5 year old cat instead. I would love it and pet it and feed it and never let it go!

Anyways, Isn't it strange that my proclivity for writing seems less when I am in a heightened mood... I'd like to find a place where my creativity isn't dictated by my level of depression. I feel it is happening slowly.

What is also a bit funny, is that I just rearranged my room 3 days ago and yesterday on a whim I bought some essential oils from the thrift store along with a book on dream interpretation. Now today, I read that post in the forum about negative spirits and I'm wondering. What the fuck?

I am going to smudge the house and get a few crystals or something. Baffling.


We all need to begin somewhere. I like to think that since w...


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