A couple of days ago I did something. I probably did it 'subconsciously on purpose' to shake things up, so here it is.
Lately the state of the world has got me feeling unstable (not emotionally unstable, just not liking the feeling that nothing is set in stone- something that never bothered me before. So in my attempts at meditation, which really turns into introspection and some rambly writing (like now) in which I ask for confirmation that there is more than appearances and that it's somehow going to be ok. When I do this I usually get an answer 'from the universe' and usually that pacifies me, but not lately. I'm stirred up.
So I got interested in looking at the UFO/UAP phenomenon as entertainment, since nothing else calms me down (yeah, issues). So I've been participating in some Reddit forums in which there seem to be controversies between Steven Greer's followers vs. the ones that think that everything is negative, and one of the accusations leveled at Greer is that he charges a heap of money to teach his followers to meditate to look for ETs, although I suspect that it's not that he charges to meditate, but to transport people to the locations they're more likely to see UFOs. So yesterday or the day before S.G. was in a podcast (Michael Sandler's nation) in which he did the meditation. Since this meditation seems to be a center of contention I saved it, and two nights ago I decided to listen to the interview. I didn't want to do the meditation, just listen to the interview and the meditation awake and aware to see why it's so controversial, but alas, I fell asleep listening to it, and I woke up later, turned off the phone and went back to sleep, not before I felt someone on the bed. Now, I have cats so this is normal, but the cat that sleeps with us was already under my armpit, her usual place, and when I looked to see if the other cat decided to join us, I couldn't see anything there- I could feel the little person that was on the bed but I couldn't see anyone there, so I felt a bit spooked and imagined a little grey crawling around. That jolted me awake and then it took me a bit to sleep again. No nightmares or anything else, just my own normal weirdness. So yesterday I decided, since I didn't actually hear the meditation consciously, I wanted to know what my subconscious listened to, so I sat in my computer and transcribed the whole thing (it was like 10-15 minutes, but it took me about half an hour to write it down) and in it there is an invitation to commune with whoever is spiritually advanced enough (and if you are spiritually advanced enough) it's not an invocation like magicians do, but there is definitely an invitation to be a conscious part of the 'one' consciousness. It is really nice. So last night, after my hubby went to bed I stayed up (I usually do, because I enjoy the night and I like to read and meditate and sometimes watch YT videos late, when everyone is sleeping- and I remembered the meditation. So I immediately felt nervous, and said "if there is someone here, I didn't invite you in, and if you've got something to teach me please do it somewhere else- not in my house, not in my space, somewhere else, and if dreams, not dreams of my house (etheric)." And after a while I got very sleepy, earlier than usual, so I turned off all the lights, looked outside, and what do you know. There was a very small pillar of light in the back of the yard, around 20 feet from where I was standing. I froze, and against my fear, moved towards the window to get a better look, which was futile, as it was a very fuzzy glow, almost not there, and I wondered if I was making it up because of the meditation and my fear, so I held up the phone and pointed it towards the outside, in the hopes that it would illuminate that sector to see if there was something white there or if it was some sort of illusion, but the light just washed everything out and when I turned it off I could see the glow again. So I said "you are not allowed to come in the house. You will not come in the house" and as I walked away I looked at the spot and could see that it was dimmer, and then I went into my room (my husband and my regulation cat were already snoring away) and when I opened the door I thought "the door is open but you can't come in" and got in bed and went to sleep relatively fast. No dreams of any consequence, but I'm recording this for just in case.