Doing things differently; from the inside. I am sure this is possible. The challenge of being with yourself and moving through the time which exists for us, is the truest challenge we can have. I question so much but not this. The possibility of creation and manifestation is so pure and profound that it defies belief. Believe it though, because creation is our greatest need and purpose.
We are, all of us, at our most innate level, creators and builders. We love to manufacture and produce and have viable results from the things we do and invest our time in. This is laid bare in our dreams and our internal landscape; The mental patterns which we develop, the responses we automatically choose and the ways which we, unconsciously or otherwise, select to behave.
We navigate through our lives as a bundle of preprogrammed responses to all manner of situations and stimulations. We are basically plants. If you put us in a bright spot and give us lots of water we grow and are healthy; I mean, unless you’re a cactus or succulent, in which case we maybe only a little water, but I digress; give us the right conditions for growth with the correct medium and room to expand and we are going to grow.
Left in negative circumstances we'll atrophy and shrink, becoming sick and injured in small ways, maybe loosing a leaf or being easier for disease to attack. People are exactly like this, our spirit isn't always protected and we forget that others respond to us in various ways and we respond to them in dynamics which can be unseen.
How is it so easy to be caught in situations which are unhealthy? A plant doesn't choose where it grows, and what was once a perfect place for it to root and grow can become toxic and difficult for it to exist within. Imagine, if you will a tree which grows in a forest only to have water levels rise slightly over time and it's roots becoming swamped. Beavers have dammed a stream and flooded a forest, killing scores of trees and weakening so many others, changing the area into a swamp.
Small changes, seasonal changes, it all become analogous to our own human lives. We exist in relationships which no longer serve us and we become stifled and suppressed by the parasites and limiting ideas of those we surround ourselves with, even those who once served us. How many of us are uplifted by our friends and partners only to discover we are root bound or we are being pruned to stay small? Think about the words which get spoken to you on a regular basis and recognize when we move our mouths in automatic response and even retaliation.
Having a developed sense of immediacy and awareness of present is the only way to be grounded in the current moment, to have control. Being; This exact moment of truth for you, as your eyes scan these words and you internalize this sentence you are where you are. The conversation we have may be one sided, but you are processing, critiquing, feeling, judging. All perfectly fine human activities which are important; but we must also take our own personal time to have those moments inspired from within; we need that personal time of being for us alone, without the input of others, and instead be self directed within.
We all have needs and our ego directs these requirements to a very large degree. We can find ourselves following these hidden patterns like our need for validation, our need to be loved, and our need to be punished. Think of that old Eurythmics song "Sweet Dreams" I think Marylin Manson did his own version which is a little more theatrical, but fantastic.
'Some of them want to use you, some of them want to be used by you; Some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be used by you.'
We are creatures of habit and routine. I've said this before but it is even more so within our own minds. Breaking this habit of being ourselves is not easy. As easy as it is to see others and their story, turning that lens onto ourselves is a Herculean task of insane impossibility. You can't do it; but: one thing? Just one you can manage. If you choose to do it once, you'll maybe make yourself do another. Soon you've done a few over time and this emerges a new habit. A habit of questioning and improving. All of a sudden you've a new habit which leads you somewhere. You can see the improvement, your confidence grows.
This is the nature of spiritual progress. Nobody starts at the finish and we all question the way. Anyone who begins at the end will be humbled and driven to earth to take all the steps. Nobody has it easy. Life is hard for everyone, paupers and bourgeois included. We like to think ourselves separate and our problems special somehow, but inside you'll find that to be untrue, and your problems are small. Your problems are nothing. Discern them and see them for what they really are. Mental constructs and limitations surrounding aspects of your externals, except internalized.
