A grey sky looms overhead today; A feeling of detachment reigns over me. For so long, confrontation has been forced upon the truth which avails itself around my life. Why? Is it something I did or said? Can nothing be explained or easy? It seems not.
I read Jesse's message today about Sr.'s passing. Lots of us came to the community because of his writings, it seems another harsh body blow to an already tired fighter. This is never going to end.
Acquiring spiritual capital and moving ourselves through this life with poise isn't a simple thing. Being reminded of the suffering we all transition through is a daunting task. We see the passing of one person, we cannot help but compare and think about those before and ourselves now.
When will it all come to a finish? I just don't know anymore. The resistance of others, personal expectation, communal involvement. There are so many responsibilities and we're all just so unreliable. I look at myself and want so badly to have things be a certain way, yet they seldom align; at least to my knowing.
We are, through our lives, challenged to step forward into discomfort and often intrigue. Why the mascaraed? Why the courting and flattery? Can't we just be honest without all the subterfuge and game playing? It appear we have a long way to go.
I hope we can all push ourselves and avoid the pitfalls. Take the road which has worked for others and file ourselves into the place of peace we all strive to find, though few of us do. Take solace in your own company and make do with what is offered to you. Try your best to overcome and be stable.
Do yourself a favor today, you deserve it.
