Real Answers

Hello, Victoria!

Thank you for your question. So sorry about the delay.

In short, my father was training certain people in a closed circle that he intended to spread outward. Unfortunately, he was unable to develop that circle, which has, since his passing, dissolved.

The idea to restart this is certainly intriguing, but is, sadly, not something that will happen anytime soon.

Thank you for your encouragement and support :)

With love from the land down under,

Jesse.

Update to my answer - I pondered more what you said and I want to share more about that spiritual experience I had. Things seem to come together now, I had only intuitive interpretation before. I remind you shortly that I had an abusive childhood and I was extremely suppressed by my father (also my mother who tried to keep him happy instead of aggressive). At the same time I loved him deeply and was devoted to him and I feel it made my inner conflict and tension even worse. This, my guess, made my whole energy system to be heavily imbalanced. At the same time I had an inner longing for something deeper and felt some kind of connection to something of Light, God, call it as you will. I wanted to destroy myself cause life was hardly bearable, but that something stronger than me kept me going and I could not do it. Yet I had no guidance, no understanding and no spiritual people around me. So intensity intensifies :) Inner conflict and tension grows stronger. When I was 25 I met my future husband who at the time was a lector in a seminar about energy and psychology (EFT, TAT and so on). It was a course of 4 days one week apart. We worked a bit, it did seem to do much to me but other thing did - I felt safe around my future husband (I had no idea at the time we will go this far, haha). And he was from that spiritual world I was half consciously longing for. Because of that, I did something I never did before: I opened up and asked for help. Since I decided to trust, I had a chance to relax and let go for the first time in decades. He agreed to give me additional session. At that time I was barely holding myself together. At the session I told him that I do not want to be, to exist anymore, it was to hard for me. He had me to breath in and out saying I AM (to contradict my desire to stop being). That is when it happen. I did not feel anything but my guess is that all that pent up energy went, as you said, through the major chakra and it was the crown one (I was told later on that crown chackra was opened for a while). My usual self felt like small thing somewere behing me. I knew I was never born and I can not die. I felt like I have never been here before yet all the memories were intact. My husband said I was talking like and advanced yogi :) Thing were very clear to me yet I did not care one bit about it. I was fully functional, went to drink some cappuccino later on with a friend who was with me at the session, but that state persisted. I guess you know what I am talking about. It lasted that day and resonated for quite some time later on but after affect, as you can imagine, was heavy. It felt like dark night of the soul for many years, it was difficult to function and God bless my husband who took care of me. Negs were my "good friends", my system was in peaces (couple of energy workers and mystics put me back together as much as they could), I felt like two ways of existing in one body (still do but not to that extent). So that might be the reason of those jerks I was complaining about :) Please share your thoughts on this. Better understanding helps a lot.

Hi Jesse, 

Thanks for the answer and I hope all of you are doing well!

I have to say your words are/were spot on, even retrospectively. 

I tell you what happened afterwards, maybe it will help others as well.

So after last encounter I mentioned in my original question happened the following: I was at home, alone. It was evening time and I was preparing to do my energy exercises. 

And then there it was that descending chill in my spine and suddenly a strong, gloomy, ghostly atmosphere took over at home. It escalated very quickly to be very scary, strange noices, feeling of an ominous presence in the house, even the cat freaked out. It was very bad. 

And then suddenly, I don't know how, came the realization : It is me, who is behind this. There was nothing here, at least not a separate being, if there was something I created it out of my thoughts and now it was feeding on my fear of the unknown. 

Since then I am testing out this theory and better controlling my thoughts and mental body and also even if I encounter something I hold on to accept it as it is and not the feel fear, because it is - at least for me - the key. Fear gives enormous power to the these things. 

It seems to be working. 

I have to write about what happened after this, please hang in there. :) 

It happened in London, so maybe Robert would know more about it. I don't know what it was, I tell you what I saw as I saw it. 

I was in a short trip to London, it was the first time I was in the UK. 

The second night I was meditating in the hotel room, which was at Hyde park. After the relaxation exercises I was pulled into another place. It never never happened before. 

I was outside on the streets of London. The light was very strange. Like an omnipresent ambient light, like what you see in a thin fog with a flashlight. No Sun, no darkness either. The street was put together from piece of London of different times. There was "puzzles pieces" from recent London, and parts that seemed very old, from many different eras. The street was full of people, whom - in my state - identified as deceased, ghosts. Also from various times. There were hundreds of them. 

The point is that I didn't freak out, I was watching them calmly. They were not curious about me so I just stood there for a while then I returned to my normal mental state, back to the hotel room. Even if I didn't know what it was, normally I would have totally freaked out and spiraled into panic. But I was able to remain completely calm and nothing negative has happened at all. 

And yes, there is new strange birthmark on my right foot, it wasn't there before. Had it checked with a doctor, it is not cancer, but he said it has to be removed asap. 

So we will see. 

Wishing all of you all the best! 

Thank you again so much for your thoughtful answer! It was very insightful and I appreciate your words of caution! I haven't made much progress in the time before Christmas so there's no real news yet but I'm going to write updates here regularly.

Thanks again for everything so far and take care, too! 😀